How a narcissist will lie
How a narcissist will lie and how it impacts you when you are trying to leave a relationship.
When you finally get the courage and resources to leave the relationship, you are then faced with the fact that the perpetrator (narcissist) will begin a campaign to ensure that nobody in their direct circle actually believes your side of the breakup.
Narcissists are experts at playing the “poor me” card and gaining support including financial, from those around them.
The problem with NPD is that it is only those directly impacted that know it exists in the perpetrator. To the rest of the world he is a top bloke, great guy, salt of the earth etc etc.
In reality it is never that way and that and puts a whole new set of issues in front of you. Not only are you leaving the relationship, your home and financial security but often will also see relationships with family and friends come to an end.
More often than not that these people will believe the perpetrators side of the story because you may never have spoken up before.
It is a double edged sword, if you had spoken up you would have paid the price behind closed doors. By not speaking up and making it public those close to you cannot get their head around the fact that the “top bloke” they know would do such despicable things.
After you leave
Ultimately, it is a no win situation when it comes to leaving your home and family behind. However, it is a BIG WIN situation when you begin to build your new life away from the tyranny of NPD. You soon realise there was a very large weight sitting on you for many years and all of a sudden it is gone.
You will find new friends, sometimes build new family relationships. Ultimately all that matters is that you are safe and can begin to rebuild your relationship with yourself as a valued human being in this world.
** Please note; Whilst I refer to the victim generally as female and the perpetrator as male, this is purely due to the fact that the majority of these roles are exactly that. There are however female Narcissists and male victims and also same sex narcissists and victims. The end result is still the same, the lies still the same, the behaviour still the same.
Below is a guide to the lies that will be said in comparison to the reality of the victim.